That stuff between our toes... and politicians.

I wondered what to write about today... I procrastinated, I deliberated and I obsfucated. When I realized what I was doing a light flashed in my grey matter BLAM! Politics. Yes, that subject we all love to hate. Politics. A live soap opera. Same old players every day for years and years and years. Oh my god I'm nearly falling asleep this is soooooo droll! But that's what politics does it puts you to sleep. Kind of like a weak dose of euthanasia at the SPCA, just takes a while, but just when you realise what has been happening KAPOW!!! Sex scandal, money misappropriated, dodgy behind closed doors deals, a new leader, a new star. There is one politician who embodies all that is badass, all that is sexy, all that is I'm going to rule you mofo's and there aint nuthing you can do 'bout it! Vlad is the man. Look at this guy! I mean why can't there be more politicians like him? He has pecs for chrissake. Who even has pecs these days? Not since Chuck Norris had his pec hair ripped off by Bruce Lee has humanity seen such a speciman! In New Zealand, our esteemed leader (who I must add I did not vote for) is an ex-investment banker with a penchant for grey suits, slippery talk and Hawaiian mansions. Australia does not fare much better, their PM is so plastic and coffiured it could be a Bratz doll! OOOO look! There's Ms Gillard when she had long hair and shes holding a Bratz! What an amazing coincedence. Perhaps there is some slim chance for Australian politics after all!

But. No matter what our esteemed leaders look like, no matter what kind of animal magnetisim, sex panther appeal these horribly slimy people exude, the telling thing anyone in charge of anything will eventually let slip is some words. Yep, words are a politicians saviour and also their worst nightmare. Lets look at some of the best of the worst:

"Should the Iranian regime-do they have the sovereign right to have civilian nuclear power? So, like, if I were you, that's what I'd ask me. And the answer is, yes, they do." George Bush talking to reporters, 2008.
Crikey. Does that even make sense? But hell, he (and his dad) was only in charge of the more powerful nation in the world! What sort of flow on effect might this have had I wonder...

A second, more damning aspect of Bush's mind-set is that he doesn't want to know anything in detail, however important. Since college, he has spilled with contempt for knowledge, equating learning with snobbery and making a joke of his own anti-intellectualism. ("[William F. Buckley] wrote a book at Yale; I read one," he quipped at a black-tie event.) By O'Neill's account, Bush could sit through an hourlong presentation about the state of the economy without asking a single question. ("I was bored as hell," the president shot back, ostensibly in jest.)

Awesome! Here is someone who is dumb, does not want to learn and seems to have a thing against people who are the slightest bit smart... AND HE WAS THE RULER OF THE USA!

But it gets better for the ladn of the feer and the hoem of the braev! Here is a great bit of mis-spelling...

              Republican Mitt Romney says he is running for president in search

              of a better America. This week, Romney's campaign could have

              used a better speller. The campaign released an iPhone app

              late Tuesday (Wednesday, NZ time) that features slogans

              supporting his campaign against Democratic President Barack

              Obama ahead of elections on November 6.

              "We're With Mitt," read one. "American Greatness," declared another.

              "A Better Amercia ," proclaimed a third, a misspelling that almost

              instantly became the subject of jokes on social media.

What the hell? Well at least he wasn't fat!

 Take a look at these guys->
Lets be brutally honest, we live in a world where excessive comsumption is lauded as a sign of wealth, of a sign of success. How many politicians are fat! Combine this with a healthy dose of stupidity and there is a massive, fetid, sweaty, disgusting, stupid problem.

How can these people be taken seriously? Really? So the next time you see a politician, run your calculating eyes up and down them, are they overweight? Clammy? Well dressed? Do they, when they open their mouths to speak, look like an eel about to eat an egg yolk? If you can tick any or all of the above be very afraid. Because like that sticky, sweet mouldy smelling stuff between your toes, once a politician gets into the cracks and crevices of Parliament, they are damn near impossible to remove.

The power of electronic conversation, good or bad?

First it was e-mail, then it was mobile phones and texting and now it is Facebook and other social media. The trend to converse electronically is now more than ever, a huge part of peoples lives. When I first got an e-mail address, it was only because I was with a couple of friends who were signing up. So it was purely a convienence thing really. At that time (1989) I would have known three or four people with an e-mail address. There was no real pressure there, if you didn't check your e-mail for weeks there would be no repercussions. Not now though! Oh boy how things have changed. For the generation(s) who have been bought up with electronic messaging, it seems to be some sort of sin if for example you don't accept a friend request or play the same game of bloody bejewled thingymawhatist!

I have just read a blog titled 'no pressure blogging' and somewhat alarmingly this is what the author had to say:

But that being said…it’s really nice to not feel pressure to blog. Because quite frankly, my blog suffers when I do. Churning out posts just to have something posted every day doesn’t necessarily add to the value of a blog. Sometimes silence is golden. And quite frankly – sometimes I don’t even notice when some of my favorite bloggers take a day or two off.

Really! Well I don't feel guilty about not blogging every day... After all it's my life as Jon Bon used to say! Sadly it's not NOW OR NEVER, it's NOW NOW NOW NOW...  and if you aren't NOW you are yesterday! Stink. There is a new phenomena now with the rise of social media use, and that is electronic pressure. That's right. Even if you work, live or know people, see them every day, talk (yes a real conversation), laugh and or cry with these REAL people, you are also expected to be cyber friends. To allow all and sundry to see your private photo's, to read your comments (even if about the above people!) to somehow be a part of the greater cyber world. And for some unknown reason, the younger generations who live day to day through their computers seem the most put out if their 'friend requests' are not accepted! This is one thing. This HEY WHY DIDN"T YOU ACCEPT MY FRIEND REQUEST? sniffle... It's kind of like an extension of the screaming child who can't get the lollipop! WHYYYYYY WHAAAAAAA cry cry... What do you do? Buckle? Slap? Ignore? I just find it a bit annoying. I find it a bit of a joke, I find it a bit tiring... When someone corners you with the 'Why didn't you... friend request' blackmail. Because that's what it really is, emotional blackmail dressed in computer code. It's the same as the little screaming kid desperately trying to get the parent/ caregiver to buy them the treat. It's a quick fix. Instant gratification. And if it's not given? What happens? Well what happens in the computer world? NOTHING. It's not real! This is the end example of spending more and more time in some sort of cyber reality... A mixing of what is real and what is not, via the real (the spoken or written friend request) and what is not (the whole e-friend thing, facebook and online stuff). It is not real but it is new it is neo:

neo- pref. 1. New; recent: Neolithic. 2. a. New and different: neoimpressionism. b. New and abnormal: neoplasm. 3. New World: Neotropical.

NEW... That does not make it right though. The delivery is the new part, what lies behind the cyber pressure people unwittingly use everyday is not. It is as old as humanity, it is pure and simple part of our make up whether we like it or not. Understanding these interactions might make it easier to accept those friend request... Or for some, it might not. Try it, see what happens... Just ask WHY?

Polls discover which is better: scrunching or folding!

Yes that's right. The big news is as usual, a very important topic. One we all have a view on, but one which we particularly don't want to view. Scrunching versus folding. Yes one of the most ponderous yet satisfying habits of humankind has revealed that, in the UK at least, more people prefer scrunching to folding, according to the research, 68% fold their toilet paper before wiping and only 15% of us scrunch it. Holy one-ply!

There were other startling examples of toilet loves and abuses in the study this author found, for example:  Men like to have something to read on the loo, 59% compared to just 43% of women.
REALLY?! Does there really have to be a survey about that? Any magazine or newspaper reading male could tell you that a nice piece of highbrow literature in the loo is great for the constitution!

 In the ideal world there would be a variety of reading material available, men and women's magazines of all descriptions from many different sources... A joyous and steamy convergence of habits and preferences.

Which just goes to show that you can please most people all of the time as long as your one, two, or if you can afford it, GASP-three ply doesn't rip! The media is similar in this vein. Whether your bag is radio, print, television or online media, it's fair to say that there are many tastes and requirements. Henry Jenkins has this to say about convergence, although it could also be used for toilet tissue too:

 "We are living in an age when changes in communications, storytelling and information technologies are reshaping almost every aspect of contemporary life -- including how we create, consume, learn, and interact with each other. A whole range of new technologies enable consumers to archive, annotate, appropriate, and recirculate media content and in the process, these technologies have altered the ways that consumers interact with core institutions of government, education, and commerce."

Changes. This is an important word, things are changing, constantly. There is now something called electronic paper , an extremely flexible electronic screen that is light, easy to read, cheap and importantly for the producers, cheap to make. But is this amazing breakthrough really a good thing? Look at the picture above and ask yourself 'would this room be just as comfortable without all that reading material'? The answer would be a resounding no! One small tube apparently, is what the future of reading may be, something that would be kept in your pocket (to slowly cook genitalia is a serious question to be raised!), and would be connected to digital technology, giving the owner an instant dose of news, views and information:

This document reader will be used for e-mail, the Internet, books downloaded from a global digital library that is currently under construction, technical manuals, newspapers (perhaps in larger format), magazines, and so forth, anywhere on the planet. It will cost less than $100, and nearly everyone will have one!

Hmmm... call me skeptical, call me a folder, but don't call me these guys just yet because I don't know if I really want one. For a start. This sort of tech comes with a number of prices aside from the dollar value. There is the labor issue. There would be no doubt that until robots can replace low cost labour, people in developing countries will still be utilized, thus keeping them in their cycle of poverty. E-paper... no good for some but amazing, a revolution for others, is this right? Try telling the scrunchers they are wrong. Oh just to show the absurdidty of toilet paper and tech, 'and nearly everyone will have one' or ' the re-launch of the Shades toilet paper across all UK stores which is calling it's "best ever toilet roll'. What's the problem here? Sure nearly everyone might have one (a paper thin e-reader), but millions won't. Of the worlds 7 billion population, probably two thirds might be able to afford it. The rest will have to make it. As for the 'best' toilet paper... well the stores involved have just been found out. In order to make the 'best' paper, to scrunch or fold, they have reduced the width. You actually get less for your money! The whole point of the blog? What is 'best' or 'revoloutionary' might not actualy be, convergence of the media is the same, jump on the bandwagon, integrate then suffer the profit and skill loss... Ah what price happiness?

Pic: Applianceonline.

Conspiracy, illuminati and technorati.

THERE IS A VAST INTRIGUING WEB OF TRUTHS, LIES AND BLOGGING!
AND WE'RE ALL A PART OF IT IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW... SORRY...

We have been looking at the interconnectedness of the internet, blogs and citizen journalists.


image:sublimagens.

What pops into my head then? The illuminati! But fear not blogsphere friends... try spelling 'tasty cheese' backwards! Does it work? No. What am I getting at? Well we are all interconnected, we are all of differing views. Some are good, some are bad, some are downright mad... but: these views are the social glue that binds us. Without them we are nothing, not rulers and as you can see in the picture, not distant cousins third removed!

Like conspiracy theories, views are all a part of the make-up of modern social life. Millions of people belive in these theories. Many have spent their whole life trying desperately to justify their cause. Some have spent life's savings trying to convince the public aliens are real, others just have problems with aliens raping their electric broom!

"I thought I'd seen the last of him until somebody ransacked my house while I was at work on march 5," said the bewildered gardener. The next morning I heard gasping and grunting noises coming from my closet and when I opened the door I found the alien on top of my electric broom. He beat me up badly the last time we had a run-in so I didn't interfere. I ran out of the house and called the police on a neighbor's phone.But by the time they arrived the alien was gone and my electric broom was twisted like a corkscrew. I know it was the same space alien, he added, you never forget a face like that."

Again just to reconfirm my point that all these views are interconnected, if I had never come to Fiji and enrolled in JN201, I would not be blogging about aliens raping eletric brooms! BUT, I am and here we are. The blogsphere and it's environs is a digitally rich and fertile garden, we are the gardeners, some have green thumbs, some use too much manure... That is the problem with this fastly overgrowing digital compost heap. Luckily there are sites that can help with the morass of information available. Technorati is one such site, go to their home page, type in anything you like in their search space and see what comes up. Go on I dare you. You might not agree what is being written by the hordes of opinionated bloggers out there, but they damn well can blog about whatever they want, wherever they are. That is the joy of the blog. Because for some, a blog can seem like a chore (c'mon 201'ers :) but for others, a blog is a way of being heard, of being justified, a reason to be arrested-because for some, they understand that being a part of the blogsphere means being connected to the world. Ask any Chinese blogger if they feel oppressed or in danger for posting their blogs about the society they live in. But they can. And that's the point. No matter how ludicrous, extreme (try interviewing Buzz Aldrin and telling him the moon landing was faked!) or otherwise, blogs and the views that are contained among those sentences are now relevant. Have a read, open your mind, you might just find out where Elvis really is or perhaps whether those pesky scientologist's alien ghosts really do reside under that Hawaiian volcano...

But till net time, I'm off to find a mirror to see if what I have just written is readable in reverse and I'm going to double check some random dollar bills for signs of an impending new world order!





I'm right... I am not mad...

Weird views...
We all have them, the cat talks to me, that bit of toast has what looks like the virgin Mary on it, alien spirits live under a dormant Hawaiian volcano, we randomly evolved, there is a god... The list goes on and on.
But why? Why when these are obviously so ridiculous and looney are they constantly reported on? One person to hold a torch too is Herbert Gans. This person was responsible for a whole lot of things he called 'values', they are used every day in the global media and shape what we read, hear and listen to.
One of his values was 'individualism'. Self made businessmen and women, sports people (rugby captains etc etc) and of course world leaders. What really makes the news however is when these people go a little off the rails. One enduring trait of these 'leaders' is that they rule absolute and become dictators . Of course many who become leaders do not go mad, so there must be other explanations...

"If you want to be powerful, and if you have that drive, you may be led to be a dictator. There are hardly any reluctant ones. And once they're in power they're hard to dislodge. These traits manage to keep them in power - for example, if you're hypersensitive to threats and plots then you can effectively eliminate your competition."  REALLY? Is there a non effective way of 'eliminating' your competition? Just loosely tying that three legged knot won't cut it I'm afraid. Some people blame age, that some dictators are just too young and make decisions that are not based on any previous experience, Caligula for example :It's easy to see how someone given absolute power, without any preparation, could let it go to his head… it's a bit like if you made a teenager prime minister, without giving them any previous training. Ummmm I think there would be many teenagers out there who would rule slightly better than some in power. For a start there would be sweet keg (barrel) parties and lots of sex. I know I know, politicians generally have torrid sex lives, look at poor old Dom Strauss or that dirty old swinger Burlusconi! But lets not digress, okay, some dictators are a little inexperienced. Perhaps Caligula didn't get to learn from his father. Kim jong un had no problem there, his dad was the nuttiest of them all,
State media also said that, the first time he bowled, Kim Jong-il scored a perfect 300, and in his first round of golf he had five holes-in-one for a 38-under par round.

Crikey! He could give Tiger some lessons... Madness is abound. Keep an eye on medals being given, titles being taken...  The last thing the world needs is anymore nutbars in power... still they make for good news. Keep em coming:)


Troy

When views go bad No#1 Hypocritical religion.

For many, a view is a chance to simply put out there whatever you think. But what is the cost? And importantly is the cost worth the chance to be heard?
For some that cost is extreme, as Salman Rushdie can attest, when you piss people off all hell, or all jihad can cut loose!
An Iranian rapper living in Germany has a US$100,000 (NZ$127,000) bounty on his
head after an Islamist website offered a reward for anyone who kills him over a
song that satirises the Islamic Republic and irreverently addresses a historic
religious figure. NO(R)WAY!!!!!!!!!!!! The Iranian news and religion website Shia-Online.ir said hip-hop star Shahin Najafi deserved to die for a song which it said "grossly insulted" Ali al-Hadi al-Naqi, one of the 12 imams, the religious figures highly revered by Shi'ite Muslims.
This story was recently reported on stuff, a New Zealand onlines news website.

For many people around the world who take their religion seriously, please if you are reading this turn away now, if you cannot laugh about it or make fun of it perhaps you need medical help! I'm not talking a lethal injection via some mossad spy either, but something to make you relax, chill (yes like the hashish the ancient middle eastern asassins used)... but that would be hypocritical wouldn't it? Huh? Throwing stones at those who blah blah blah... Exmuhummadactly!
Why can't the religious extreme just keep to their angry and negative selves? I mean as was seen in that blockbuster movie THE DAVINCI CODE, sometimes a bit of flaggelation does not go astray! I don't care if someone whips themselves, I just wont watch. That same can be said in the above case. Here is a young man embracing his musical talent to voice his opinion (the same as any religious cleric on their respective pulpit) perhaps hoping for fame and money (a vehicle for him to escape the poverty and depression of the middle east) and possibly some live virgins (as opposed to those offered in deathly paradise/heaven-which possibly might not be real!) and what happens?
He gets money, but with a catch! A death threat, a price on his head. For embracing the westernvalue of rap (ummm really? haven't songs and poems been around since cavemen first stubbed their hairy toes or ate fermented fruit?! What did the young rapper think about all this?:

 "I thought there would be some ramifications. But I didn't think I would upset the regime that much. Now they are taking advantage of the situation and making it look like I was trying to criticise religion and put down believers.
"For me it is more of an excuse to talk about completely different things. I also criticise Iranian society in the song. It seems as though people are just concentrating on the word 'imam'."



One small positive is that this young man lives in Germany and here's hoping the border police can spot suspicious looking jihad type suicide bombers/hit men/women/children/bomladen bicycles as they try to make their non-suspicious way to kill said guilty rapper. I wish the young man all the best and look forward to his next album- hopefully entitled something like, 'pimp my camel- 1000 ways with religious piercings'. But we'll see...
Troy Scott