The worst thing humankind has ever invented...

What do you think is the worst thing ever invented? The one thing that has caused the most pain and suffering to the most people in the world?

Look at this picture... This is a modern photograph, carefully and tastefully (note the breasts being carefully covered) and professionally done. It could be called a glamor shot. The model is tanned and athletic looking, ironically healthy and in charge of the situation- even though her pants are a little undone. Personally if I was standing in the near nude with my pants about to fall off I'd put down the gun and do them up. WHAT!!!!! PUT DOWN THE GUN!
Are you mad?! Look at the beauty, the power, the perfection... of the gun. The most famous of them all: The AK47.
Is this the most dangerous thing ever invented?

Estimated numbers of AK-type weapons vary. The Small Arms Survey suggest that "between 70 and 100 million of these weapons have been produced since 1947."^[69] The World Bank estimates that out of the 500 million total firearms available worldwide, 100 million are of the Kalashnikov family, and 75 million are AK-47s.^[70] Only about 5 million of these were manufactured in the former USSR.^[71] Because AK-type weapons have been made in other countries, often illicitly, it is impossible to know how many really exist.^[72] Mikhail Kalashnikov addressed the United Nations in 2006 at a conference aimed at solving the problem of illicit weapons, saying that he appreciated the AK-47's role in state-sponsored defense but that counterfeit weapons carrying his name in the hands of "terrorists and thugs" caused him regret...

These weapons are super cheap too... 

Throughout the world, the AK and its variants are among the most commonly smuggled small arms sold to governments, rebels, criminals, and civilians alike, with little international oversight. In some countries, prices for AKs are very low; in Somalia, Rwanda, Mozambique, Congo and Tanzania prices are between $30 and $125 per weapon, and prices have fallen in the last few decades due to mass counterfeiting. Moisés Naím observed that in a small town in Kenya in 1986, an AK-47 cost fifteen cows but that in 2005, the price was down to four cows indicating that supply was "immense".

$30 dollars or fifteen cows! Wow. What a bargain, if you had fifteen cows or $30 dollars... Still, it's nice to know that if you are about to be shot and killed, some money or cows were possibly traded for your life.
But I don't think the AK47, for all it's inhumane uselessness, is the worst invention humankind has ever invented. There are so many things that we have invented for the purpose of killing people, the robotic cow is one such item! Such a stupid idea... so utterly pointless were it not for the fact it is real and it is being tested. What about bombs? They are pretty good at destroying stuff? What about A-bombs...

I mean come on that's some pretty good destruction right there huh? But although there was mass destruction and wholesale carnage, only a mere 400,000 or so people perished. It's probably fair to say that millions of people have died as a result of Mr Kalashnikov's competition winning weapon.

There is one thing more deadly than Atomic bombs and AK47's. One thing that inspires humanity to act in the most selfish and stupid ways... No, not politics, although to be fair it would have to be close to the top of the list, no the one thing people crave and will do anything for: yes even design nukes and machine guns... MONEY.

Money is the worst thing humanity has ever invented.

See above the picture. One duck, one lucky old white duck, rolling around in all his money. While some watch and wonder... Money... The wars the world have suffered during the last two thousand years have killed an estimated 2 billion people. In our minds, power is commensurate with money. If you have money you are powerful, you are successful, you can be dominant and not be dominated.

Money. Sure there is the quasi-religious theme that money is the root of all evil... Perhaps they (whoever those mysterious and shadowy figures are) are right, perhaps money is the worst thing humanity has ever invented...
Right, I'd better go pay the bills and look for some work, before I lose it all.

The Answer to Gay Marriage...

There is an answer to gay marriage. It's deceptively simple and will attract followers rather than haters. The answer? Simple, change the word "GAY" to "HAPPY". Easy.

After all, aren't humans supposed to be at their best if they are truly happy? And if some people of the same sex want to get married then surely that would make them happy, no? Of course it would. Perhaps the best way to sell this concept to any detractors out there is to use the economy as a great example of why people are best when they are happy. Take a read of this inspirational quote and let me know how you could possibly disagree...

We need to teach the next generation of children from day one that they are responsible for their lives. Mankind's greatest gift, also its greatest curse, is that we have free choice. We can make our choices built from love or from fear.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Okay, so it's not exactly the quote I was after, but you get the gist. Happiness is a choice. People argue about gay being a choice. Possible for some it might be, mostly for many it probably isn't.
So let gay people be happy, and if they want to marry, whats the problem? Well... it is plain and clear to see, two thousand years of propaganda by the church, that's the problem. Like the last line from the above quote, the church is afraid. It is afraid because it see's itself as the preeminent holder of knowledge of the human condition. Sadly it could be no more wrong than to stick with this outdated and narrow minded approach. The church is scared because people are making their own decisions! People are making their choices and the church doesn't like that it is no longer needed. Fair enough I say. Let the narrow minded among us seek guidance from myth and fantasy, let them use faith as their spear and shield. They are still wrong. Like I said, two thousand years of propaganda and more importantly, being in control.

 See... The woman waits while the man goes and works. The man is in charge. God is a man therefore the man must remain in charge, this is why the church is scared. The man is not in charge you see. Two men or two women break this ridiculous mold into tiny pieces! By giving people CHOICE the church are no longer in charge! Being gay, choice or not, is something people become happy with. And why not? Happiness is the most important thing, right? Well, what does the church say about happiness????

 sparked hope in those who have wanted the Church to change its stance with regard to gay people...
“In the case of irregular situations, such as couples who move in together, divorcees who remarry and same-sex couples, we as pastors have to stand firm and uphold the teachings of the Church Scriptures; not because we are fideists but because we believe that these teachings represent the road to happiness. And we must try and help everyone to lead a life that is in accordance with these teachings.” Schönborn: “Catholic morality is the path towards happiness”

Hmmm... See. Only their way is the way to happiness! Darn... If the church has already used the word happiness in their ranting then they probably own that too. Oh well, gay it is then! Oh and to all and any churchy people out there who disagree, well, that's your choice isn't it? I'm not making you so please, don't make other people. It's just not fair!



 

Optimism in the face of massive uncertainty!

Uh oh... what happens when a superpower with decades of cheating, lying and manipulation meets a older, wiser, but often younger and savvier more patient just getting their foothold-superpower? THEY JOIN FORCES...

In the coming months, discussions on economic policy will be increasingly overshadowed by the political calendars in the two countries, which herald a gradual hardening of positions and less room for maneuver on both sides. This makes it unlikely we will see any major policy shifts in the bilateral relationship, unless dictated largely by domestic political and economic circumstances.

The two countries are increasingly dealing with each other on an even footing and recognize that collaboration is in their mutual long-term interests. However, there lies a rocky road ahead, as domestic economic and political priorities and constraints drive the short-term dynamics of this relationship.

Collaboration is in their mutual long-term interest! These words send shivers down my cold, bumpy spine. What happens when a crooked ill-meaning sheriff meets a powerful kung-fu sorcerer?

That's right. Shitty Americanized kung-fu! Phooey! What we will all get is a hybridized version of what it means to be oriental. We will be fed orientalised orientalism! The coming years will in fact be worse than the fifties and sixties when, in America, the gunfighter was boss. That dusty bad-ass in his cowboy hat and old (usually suspiciously new looking though) boots. Riding into some hick town, all ready to clean up and take out the trash. It was all so simple! The good guy wore a white hat usually, the bad guy had a black hat! Guess who won most of the time? Yup, old goodie. Usually spouting off some moral cowboy goodness in a husky voice, reminiscent of a trusted grandfather, you know the one, the one who died of throat cancer from all those Marlborough lights! Ahhhh the naive simplicity.
NOW WHAT"S GOING TO HAPPEN??? HUH!!!!! I mean come on. How long has the popular press played up, or down depending on which side of the fence you are on, the Chinese menace? The yellow peril? AND NOW THEY ARE GOING TO JOIN FORCES!!!!!!! So now we will have a hello kitty culture meeting the best kind of teacher, Mr Consumerism. And they are going to go at it in the broom closet like there is no tomorrow! These two countries joining forces will make collective world leaders wince, like all the "real" cowboys did when they were outed on that really popular movie, Brokeback Mountain: No not the one underneath... The Funny cartoon Bunny one!

 I know, I know... What's Borat got to do with anything? Well... Look how ridiculous they are together! These two movies go together like Nixon and the impeachment process! CLANG.

Can you imagine the looks of horror on anyone's faces if Bush senior was asked to host a dinner for the Chinese premier? "Sir... I will eat almost all of any flying bird, but Sir, I will not eat the feet!" That's when wen would use a ninja skill to flatten the ex-presidents ugly nose!
But I digress... there are more serious issues here.

If these two countries join forces and work together to corner the market on everything, lets face it, clothes, entertainment (tech stuff I mean not Bieber :( Oh no he's American isn't he... ohhhh), cars and all manner of items in our daily possession or commonly used will be made overseas on the cheap using cheap, slave labor, in hot sticky sweatshops! Oh... they already are? YAYYYYYYY :) What's the point of really being worried then? Huh??? Perhaps those cowboy Levis might get a little cheaper, or a little faker (just like the movies and the whole myth!), and perhaps we will all learn real Kung-Fu from bald headed, modest orientals who spout wisdom and drink only tea or whiskey!? Or like the true myth... learn from an American who died from hanging himself off a door whilst pleasuring himself!  The only real problem with the two biggest myth makers in history becoming bedfellows is just that... what myth will they propagate? Who will become the enemy, whose wisdom will we be expected to follow? Oh well, lets just try and be optimistic about it... Perhaps it won't be too bad after all... Ahahahahahahahahahaha....

We are what we eat, read, watch and say...

When this happens, worry... This is a great example of all the modern afflictions we suffer!

For a start, this example of text might not even be real! How can we check? Perhaps it is and the person who was being texted has just spent the umpteenth night in a mental institution, worrying about why and how their mother would be abusing them!

To be fair, if I was the mother of this child, I would be more worried about the spelling and meaning of the words this child uses! For those who aren't sure, a 'wat' is a Buddhist temple from Thailand. Not a questioning word! Dumb ass. And what is the mom doing? For gods sake, is she driving while texting? Is she doing some healthy choc-chip baking or wat? Telling your child you are going to LICK them out... jeez... If spelling and meaning begins to fly out the proverbial window, wat will happen long term? For a guess, lets say things will get worse. Txt spk 4 xmpl is something that grates my cheese! Okay, if you are in a rush, then there are times when shortcuts can be made... But if you are on a social networking site like Facebook, for example, the conversations that go on there are simply abominable.
It's a similar thing with fashions. Once shortcuts begin to appear, they become accepted and ingrained. Usually for the worse. Who can forget flared trousers, the cardigan, pearls or geek chic?

Sadly, all these things (and worse) are making a comeback. Threatening us with their hideousness, their shapelessness, their pastel colors and ribbed collars. Yuk!!!!! EVEN worse though are the crossover crim styles that seem to have been made popular via hip-hop music and disaffected urban youth, young and old, rich and poor...   

A new state law in Florida recently went into effect for the 2011-2012 school year banning the practice of sagging while at school. Pupils found in violation will receive a verbal warning for the first offense, followed by parental notification by the principal for the second offense, which will require the parent to bring a change of clothing to school. Students would then face in-school suspension for the third (and later) violations. Several US airlines have also reportedly kicked flyers off of flights for wearing pants too low. In June 2011, The University of New Mexico football player Deshon Marman was removed from a U.S. Airways flight bound for Albuquerque, New Mexico for wearing sagging pants. This was followed a few months later when Green Day singer Billie Joe Armstrong was removed from a Southwest Airlines flight from Oakland to Burbank, California for wearing saggy pants...

Crikey! What happens when BOTH are mixed together though?! A sad mix of gormlessness and stupidity. Wat u men? As the trousers are being pulled up... usually in the line of McD's or any other crappy fat inducing, health threatening eatery or establishment. We have to ask why? Why does stupidity, health and fashion often attract such epic failures in the human gene pool? Is it a statement? Is it a fight against the system, the man? No... it's only one thing, stupidity, idiocracy and complete mongrelitis (that genetic affliction of mullets, undercuts, bad grooming and awesomely deadly diet!).
There is a movie called "idiocracy"... I would suggest, to everyone reading, go rent a copy. Watch and make notes... If your neighbor or best friend begins to water their garden, while wearing lowriding jeans, with gatorade, run for cover!  
 

Pimples on the ass of the World!

The World... It's what we live on, a huge ball made up of molten hot lava and magma, a massively thick crust (which moves in mysterious ways!!!) and layers of water, oil, gold, marshmallow and dirt. Okay, so there's no layer of gold. The thing is, we live on this incredible living thing, yet we treat it no better than a diseased dog or a sale price prostitute at 5 in the morning. We suck. Humanity has evolved to a point where it is dubious that those in power really care. Those same people are utilizing belief patterns and modes of thought that have become ingrained in us since as far back as Locke and Hobbs first appeared on the scene. We are in a struggle to find that balance of good and worse, bad and really bad. What the people want is a life that is free, what we are being told is that we are all savages in serious need of some professional care! And the governments worldwide will do this for us!
Take Plato's cave as an example of what is happening in the world. We, the unwitting public, are fed pictures and images via television, film, the internet, mobile devices and they may not be real. What we believe as a reality may in fact be nothing more than a show, orchestrated by puppet masters who tell doyens in any given field, what to show us. We may not even know who these mysterious and shadowy puppet masters are... Or if they exist at all.

Observe, Glaucon, that there will be no injustice in compelling our philosophers to have a care and providence of others; we shall explain to them that in other States, men of their class are not obliged to share in the toils of politics: and this is reasonable, for they grow up at their own sweet will, and the government would rather not have them. Being self-taught, they cannot be expected to show any gratitude for a culture which they have never received. But we have brought you into the world to be rulers of the hive, kings of yourselves and of the other citizens, and have educated you far better and more perfectly than they have been educated, and you are better able to share in the double duty. Wherefore each of you, when his turn comes, must go down to the general underground abode, and get the habit of seeing in the dark. When you have acquired the habit, you will see ten thousand times better than the inhabitants of the cave, and you will know what the several images are, and what they represent, because you have seen the beautiful and just and good in their truth. And thus our State which is also yours will be a reality, and not a dream only, and will be administered in a spirit unlike that of other States, in which men fight with one another about shadows only and are distracted in the struggle for power, which in their eyes is a great good. Whereas the truth is that the State in which the rulers are most reluctant to govern is always the best and most quietly governed, and the State in which they are most eager, the worst.  

OR... are we being double duped? Kings of yourselves? Huh???? In our world there are only a few kings. Is this wrong??? Why can't we all be kings? Well the truth is, we can. Because being a King or a Queen is something that is purely imagined. WE ALL CAN RULE.  We are perhaps discovering this paradox. That we can rule, that Kingdoms are imagined (see all the uprisings in the middle east for example) and that perhaps, just perhaps, we have parted the wool that for so long has been pulled over our eyes. That those in charge have only one thing, okay it is a biggie, military might. We all know that military intelligence is an oxymoron. That many in the armed forces are in fact morons!

 Which is very, very scary! For us that is... For the masters of this unknown world we live in, thinking about changing power, be it political, economic, social or even petrol, gives them the shivers.
That's because they think we cannot rule ourselves...
That's because they think they know better...
That's because they don't want everyone to be free, literate...
That's because they want to keep their money...
That's because they want to keep their power...
That's because they want us to stay dumb...
That's because the minerals in the grounds of the countries we live in should be used to feed and clothe us... not make them rich...

Kings. When America and Americans and British and monarchs worldwide realize that we know that they are nothing really more than a vivid imagination... well one thing is for sure, all those in power, all those who believe we cannot rule our lives, all those who think they can tell us one thing while doing another... yep that one thing is that they will still believe that we, the people who help keep them in power, are nothing more than pimples on the backside of the world!

Why coming home and blogging is fun..

After Four and a half months in tropical Fiji, I am home.

I live in the South Island of New Zealand and this time of the year it is freezing cold! Ah the joys of travel and study. I had been wearing shorts, sandals (we call them jandals here in NZ) and tee shirts and now I've graduated to fleecy hoodies, trousers, socks and shoes (yuk!) and some nice new ugg boots. Oh, not to forget a wollen hat or beanie, although I think they are called 'touque' in Canada.  Leaving Fiji was sad. I made many friends and it was especially hard to tear myself away from the tropical sea I love so much. Having a surf in 25 degree water is pretty special... The sea water temperature here is about 9 degrees at the moment. That's actually not too bad, it's the minus two air temp in the morning that really tightens my nuts! On the west coast of the South Island, this wind is called 'the barber' because in the winter it cuts right through you! BRRRRRRRRR. I was especially happy to see my girlfriend Eve, she had been doing it tough while I was away. Enjoying bags of chocolates and lots of wine. I'm sure she was pleased to see me though:) My faithful hound Fin gave me a rather underwhelming welcome back...

The look of love, or simply begging for a sultana... hairy bastard.

Although he did give me many licks, showed me his latest stick and presented both his mighty balls and a watery shart for me to inspect. Lovely boy. Our other dog, Nui, was much more appreciative of my absence. Gently snuffling my ear and making noises that I'm sure were the closest she could get to 'Oh my god welcome home, I'm sooo glad to see you, rub my tummy, rub my back, pat me on my head... more ooo more... oh yes oh yes that's the spot right there!'

The benefits of travel ay! Oh, and although I put as the caption for the photo there, something about sultana's, before I get lynched by the SPCA or Doglovers anonymous, I KNOW that sultanas are bad for dogs. It was just a clever trick by me to get him to pose for the camera, so calm the hell down thank you. I also found this wonderful quote ,regaling anyone who cares, about the joys of travel...

“Traveling is a brutality. It forces you to trust strangers and to lose sight of all that familiar comfort of home and friends. You are constantly off balance. Nothing is yours except the essential things – air, sleep, dreams, the sea, the sky – all things tending towards the eternal or what we imagine of it.” – Cesare Pavese

Because to come home, first you must go away. That is what I have done. The heat pump blows warm air into the lounge, protecting from the chill of the cold wintery south west wind as it slices through the clothing of anyone silly enough to under-dress. It merely make the memories of the past four and a half months all the more precious. When you are in a foreign land you miss your home, when you meet strangers they become new friends, when you get home you remember where you have been.

 So I'd like to say a huge thank you to all who I have met during my travels and studies while in Fiji, I want to say thank you to Eve for holding the fort while I was away and for all the dramas she had to endure while on her own. I wish all the best to everyone studying for the future, whatever it may hold, and best of all... I look forward to future travels and future homecomings and of course... Rum! HAhaaaaaa...

That stuff between our toes... and politicians.

I wondered what to write about today... I procrastinated, I deliberated and I obsfucated. When I realized what I was doing a light flashed in my grey matter BLAM! Politics. Yes, that subject we all love to hate. Politics. A live soap opera. Same old players every day for years and years and years. Oh my god I'm nearly falling asleep this is soooooo droll! But that's what politics does it puts you to sleep. Kind of like a weak dose of euthanasia at the SPCA, just takes a while, but just when you realise what has been happening KAPOW!!! Sex scandal, money misappropriated, dodgy behind closed doors deals, a new leader, a new star. There is one politician who embodies all that is badass, all that is sexy, all that is I'm going to rule you mofo's and there aint nuthing you can do 'bout it! Vlad is the man. Look at this guy! I mean why can't there be more politicians like him? He has pecs for chrissake. Who even has pecs these days? Not since Chuck Norris had his pec hair ripped off by Bruce Lee has humanity seen such a speciman! In New Zealand, our esteemed leader (who I must add I did not vote for) is an ex-investment banker with a penchant for grey suits, slippery talk and Hawaiian mansions. Australia does not fare much better, their PM is so plastic and coffiured it could be a Bratz doll! OOOO look! There's Ms Gillard when she had long hair and shes holding a Bratz! What an amazing coincedence. Perhaps there is some slim chance for Australian politics after all!

But. No matter what our esteemed leaders look like, no matter what kind of animal magnetisim, sex panther appeal these horribly slimy people exude, the telling thing anyone in charge of anything will eventually let slip is some words. Yep, words are a politicians saviour and also their worst nightmare. Lets look at some of the best of the worst:

"Should the Iranian regime-do they have the sovereign right to have civilian nuclear power? So, like, if I were you, that's what I'd ask me. And the answer is, yes, they do." George Bush talking to reporters, 2008.
Crikey. Does that even make sense? But hell, he (and his dad) was only in charge of the more powerful nation in the world! What sort of flow on effect might this have had I wonder...

A second, more damning aspect of Bush's mind-set is that he doesn't want to know anything in detail, however important. Since college, he has spilled with contempt for knowledge, equating learning with snobbery and making a joke of his own anti-intellectualism. ("[William F. Buckley] wrote a book at Yale; I read one," he quipped at a black-tie event.) By O'Neill's account, Bush could sit through an hourlong presentation about the state of the economy without asking a single question. ("I was bored as hell," the president shot back, ostensibly in jest.)

Awesome! Here is someone who is dumb, does not want to learn and seems to have a thing against people who are the slightest bit smart... AND HE WAS THE RULER OF THE USA!

But it gets better for the ladn of the feer and the hoem of the braev! Here is a great bit of mis-spelling...

              Republican Mitt Romney says he is running for president in search

              of a better America. This week, Romney's campaign could have

              used a better speller. The campaign released an iPhone app

              late Tuesday (Wednesday, NZ time) that features slogans

              supporting his campaign against Democratic President Barack

              Obama ahead of elections on November 6.

              "We're With Mitt," read one. "American Greatness," declared another.

              "A Better Amercia ," proclaimed a third, a misspelling that almost

              instantly became the subject of jokes on social media.

What the hell? Well at least he wasn't fat!

 Take a look at these guys->
Lets be brutally honest, we live in a world where excessive comsumption is lauded as a sign of wealth, of a sign of success. How many politicians are fat! Combine this with a healthy dose of stupidity and there is a massive, fetid, sweaty, disgusting, stupid problem.

How can these people be taken seriously? Really? So the next time you see a politician, run your calculating eyes up and down them, are they overweight? Clammy? Well dressed? Do they, when they open their mouths to speak, look like an eel about to eat an egg yolk? If you can tick any or all of the above be very afraid. Because like that sticky, sweet mouldy smelling stuff between your toes, once a politician gets into the cracks and crevices of Parliament, they are damn near impossible to remove.

The power of electronic conversation, good or bad?

First it was e-mail, then it was mobile phones and texting and now it is Facebook and other social media. The trend to converse electronically is now more than ever, a huge part of peoples lives. When I first got an e-mail address, it was only because I was with a couple of friends who were signing up. So it was purely a convienence thing really. At that time (1989) I would have known three or four people with an e-mail address. There was no real pressure there, if you didn't check your e-mail for weeks there would be no repercussions. Not now though! Oh boy how things have changed. For the generation(s) who have been bought up with electronic messaging, it seems to be some sort of sin if for example you don't accept a friend request or play the same game of bloody bejewled thingymawhatist!

I have just read a blog titled 'no pressure blogging' and somewhat alarmingly this is what the author had to say:

But that being said…it’s really nice to not feel pressure to blog. Because quite frankly, my blog suffers when I do. Churning out posts just to have something posted every day doesn’t necessarily add to the value of a blog. Sometimes silence is golden. And quite frankly – sometimes I don’t even notice when some of my favorite bloggers take a day or two off.

Really! Well I don't feel guilty about not blogging every day... After all it's my life as Jon Bon used to say! Sadly it's not NOW OR NEVER, it's NOW NOW NOW NOW...  and if you aren't NOW you are yesterday! Stink. There is a new phenomena now with the rise of social media use, and that is electronic pressure. That's right. Even if you work, live or know people, see them every day, talk (yes a real conversation), laugh and or cry with these REAL people, you are also expected to be cyber friends. To allow all and sundry to see your private photo's, to read your comments (even if about the above people!) to somehow be a part of the greater cyber world. And for some unknown reason, the younger generations who live day to day through their computers seem the most put out if their 'friend requests' are not accepted! This is one thing. This HEY WHY DIDN"T YOU ACCEPT MY FRIEND REQUEST? sniffle... It's kind of like an extension of the screaming child who can't get the lollipop! WHYYYYYY WHAAAAAAA cry cry... What do you do? Buckle? Slap? Ignore? I just find it a bit annoying. I find it a bit of a joke, I find it a bit tiring... When someone corners you with the 'Why didn't you... friend request' blackmail. Because that's what it really is, emotional blackmail dressed in computer code. It's the same as the little screaming kid desperately trying to get the parent/ caregiver to buy them the treat. It's a quick fix. Instant gratification. And if it's not given? What happens? Well what happens in the computer world? NOTHING. It's not real! This is the end example of spending more and more time in some sort of cyber reality... A mixing of what is real and what is not, via the real (the spoken or written friend request) and what is not (the whole e-friend thing, facebook and online stuff). It is not real but it is new it is neo:

neo- pref. 1. New; recent: Neolithic. 2. a. New and different: neoimpressionism. b. New and abnormal: neoplasm. 3. New World: Neotropical.

NEW... That does not make it right though. The delivery is the new part, what lies behind the cyber pressure people unwittingly use everyday is not. It is as old as humanity, it is pure and simple part of our make up whether we like it or not. Understanding these interactions might make it easier to accept those friend request... Or for some, it might not. Try it, see what happens... Just ask WHY?

Polls discover which is better: scrunching or folding!

Yes that's right. The big news is as usual, a very important topic. One we all have a view on, but one which we particularly don't want to view. Scrunching versus folding. Yes one of the most ponderous yet satisfying habits of humankind has revealed that, in the UK at least, more people prefer scrunching to folding, according to the research, 68% fold their toilet paper before wiping and only 15% of us scrunch it. Holy one-ply!

There were other startling examples of toilet loves and abuses in the study this author found, for example:  Men like to have something to read on the loo, 59% compared to just 43% of women.
REALLY?! Does there really have to be a survey about that? Any magazine or newspaper reading male could tell you that a nice piece of highbrow literature in the loo is great for the constitution!

 In the ideal world there would be a variety of reading material available, men and women's magazines of all descriptions from many different sources... A joyous and steamy convergence of habits and preferences.

Which just goes to show that you can please most people all of the time as long as your one, two, or if you can afford it, GASP-three ply doesn't rip! The media is similar in this vein. Whether your bag is radio, print, television or online media, it's fair to say that there are many tastes and requirements. Henry Jenkins has this to say about convergence, although it could also be used for toilet tissue too:

 "We are living in an age when changes in communications, storytelling and information technologies are reshaping almost every aspect of contemporary life -- including how we create, consume, learn, and interact with each other. A whole range of new technologies enable consumers to archive, annotate, appropriate, and recirculate media content and in the process, these technologies have altered the ways that consumers interact with core institutions of government, education, and commerce."

Changes. This is an important word, things are changing, constantly. There is now something called electronic paper , an extremely flexible electronic screen that is light, easy to read, cheap and importantly for the producers, cheap to make. But is this amazing breakthrough really a good thing? Look at the picture above and ask yourself 'would this room be just as comfortable without all that reading material'? The answer would be a resounding no! One small tube apparently, is what the future of reading may be, something that would be kept in your pocket (to slowly cook genitalia is a serious question to be raised!), and would be connected to digital technology, giving the owner an instant dose of news, views and information:

This document reader will be used for e-mail, the Internet, books downloaded from a global digital library that is currently under construction, technical manuals, newspapers (perhaps in larger format), magazines, and so forth, anywhere on the planet. It will cost less than $100, and nearly everyone will have one!

Hmmm... call me skeptical, call me a folder, but don't call me these guys just yet because I don't know if I really want one. For a start. This sort of tech comes with a number of prices aside from the dollar value. There is the labor issue. There would be no doubt that until robots can replace low cost labour, people in developing countries will still be utilized, thus keeping them in their cycle of poverty. E-paper... no good for some but amazing, a revolution for others, is this right? Try telling the scrunchers they are wrong. Oh just to show the absurdidty of toilet paper and tech, 'and nearly everyone will have one' or ' the re-launch of the Shades toilet paper across all UK stores which is calling it's "best ever toilet roll'. What's the problem here? Sure nearly everyone might have one (a paper thin e-reader), but millions won't. Of the worlds 7 billion population, probably two thirds might be able to afford it. The rest will have to make it. As for the 'best' toilet paper... well the stores involved have just been found out. In order to make the 'best' paper, to scrunch or fold, they have reduced the width. You actually get less for your money! The whole point of the blog? What is 'best' or 'revoloutionary' might not actualy be, convergence of the media is the same, jump on the bandwagon, integrate then suffer the profit and skill loss... Ah what price happiness?

Pic: Applianceonline.

Conspiracy, illuminati and technorati.

THERE IS A VAST INTRIGUING WEB OF TRUTHS, LIES AND BLOGGING!
AND WE'RE ALL A PART OF IT IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW... SORRY...

We have been looking at the interconnectedness of the internet, blogs and citizen journalists.


image:sublimagens.

What pops into my head then? The illuminati! But fear not blogsphere friends... try spelling 'tasty cheese' backwards! Does it work? No. What am I getting at? Well we are all interconnected, we are all of differing views. Some are good, some are bad, some are downright mad... but: these views are the social glue that binds us. Without them we are nothing, not rulers and as you can see in the picture, not distant cousins third removed!

Like conspiracy theories, views are all a part of the make-up of modern social life. Millions of people belive in these theories. Many have spent their whole life trying desperately to justify their cause. Some have spent life's savings trying to convince the public aliens are real, others just have problems with aliens raping their electric broom!

"I thought I'd seen the last of him until somebody ransacked my house while I was at work on march 5," said the bewildered gardener. The next morning I heard gasping and grunting noises coming from my closet and when I opened the door I found the alien on top of my electric broom. He beat me up badly the last time we had a run-in so I didn't interfere. I ran out of the house and called the police on a neighbor's phone.But by the time they arrived the alien was gone and my electric broom was twisted like a corkscrew. I know it was the same space alien, he added, you never forget a face like that."

Again just to reconfirm my point that all these views are interconnected, if I had never come to Fiji and enrolled in JN201, I would not be blogging about aliens raping eletric brooms! BUT, I am and here we are. The blogsphere and it's environs is a digitally rich and fertile garden, we are the gardeners, some have green thumbs, some use too much manure... That is the problem with this fastly overgrowing digital compost heap. Luckily there are sites that can help with the morass of information available. Technorati is one such site, go to their home page, type in anything you like in their search space and see what comes up. Go on I dare you. You might not agree what is being written by the hordes of opinionated bloggers out there, but they damn well can blog about whatever they want, wherever they are. That is the joy of the blog. Because for some, a blog can seem like a chore (c'mon 201'ers :) but for others, a blog is a way of being heard, of being justified, a reason to be arrested-because for some, they understand that being a part of the blogsphere means being connected to the world. Ask any Chinese blogger if they feel oppressed or in danger for posting their blogs about the society they live in. But they can. And that's the point. No matter how ludicrous, extreme (try interviewing Buzz Aldrin and telling him the moon landing was faked!) or otherwise, blogs and the views that are contained among those sentences are now relevant. Have a read, open your mind, you might just find out where Elvis really is or perhaps whether those pesky scientologist's alien ghosts really do reside under that Hawaiian volcano...

But till net time, I'm off to find a mirror to see if what I have just written is readable in reverse and I'm going to double check some random dollar bills for signs of an impending new world order!





I'm right... I am not mad...

Weird views...
We all have them, the cat talks to me, that bit of toast has what looks like the virgin Mary on it, alien spirits live under a dormant Hawaiian volcano, we randomly evolved, there is a god... The list goes on and on.
But why? Why when these are obviously so ridiculous and looney are they constantly reported on? One person to hold a torch too is Herbert Gans. This person was responsible for a whole lot of things he called 'values', they are used every day in the global media and shape what we read, hear and listen to.
One of his values was 'individualism'. Self made businessmen and women, sports people (rugby captains etc etc) and of course world leaders. What really makes the news however is when these people go a little off the rails. One enduring trait of these 'leaders' is that they rule absolute and become dictators . Of course many who become leaders do not go mad, so there must be other explanations...

"If you want to be powerful, and if you have that drive, you may be led to be a dictator. There are hardly any reluctant ones. And once they're in power they're hard to dislodge. These traits manage to keep them in power - for example, if you're hypersensitive to threats and plots then you can effectively eliminate your competition."  REALLY? Is there a non effective way of 'eliminating' your competition? Just loosely tying that three legged knot won't cut it I'm afraid. Some people blame age, that some dictators are just too young and make decisions that are not based on any previous experience, Caligula for example :It's easy to see how someone given absolute power, without any preparation, could let it go to his head… it's a bit like if you made a teenager prime minister, without giving them any previous training. Ummmm I think there would be many teenagers out there who would rule slightly better than some in power. For a start there would be sweet keg (barrel) parties and lots of sex. I know I know, politicians generally have torrid sex lives, look at poor old Dom Strauss or that dirty old swinger Burlusconi! But lets not digress, okay, some dictators are a little inexperienced. Perhaps Caligula didn't get to learn from his father. Kim jong un had no problem there, his dad was the nuttiest of them all,
State media also said that, the first time he bowled, Kim Jong-il scored a perfect 300, and in his first round of golf he had five holes-in-one for a 38-under par round.

Crikey! He could give Tiger some lessons... Madness is abound. Keep an eye on medals being given, titles being taken...  The last thing the world needs is anymore nutbars in power... still they make for good news. Keep em coming:)


Troy

When views go bad No#1 Hypocritical religion.

For many, a view is a chance to simply put out there whatever you think. But what is the cost? And importantly is the cost worth the chance to be heard?
For some that cost is extreme, as Salman Rushdie can attest, when you piss people off all hell, or all jihad can cut loose!
An Iranian rapper living in Germany has a US$100,000 (NZ$127,000) bounty on his
head after an Islamist website offered a reward for anyone who kills him over a
song that satirises the Islamic Republic and irreverently addresses a historic
religious figure. NO(R)WAY!!!!!!!!!!!! The Iranian news and religion website Shia-Online.ir said hip-hop star Shahin Najafi deserved to die for a song which it said "grossly insulted" Ali al-Hadi al-Naqi, one of the 12 imams, the religious figures highly revered by Shi'ite Muslims.
This story was recently reported on stuff, a New Zealand onlines news website.

For many people around the world who take their religion seriously, please if you are reading this turn away now, if you cannot laugh about it or make fun of it perhaps you need medical help! I'm not talking a lethal injection via some mossad spy either, but something to make you relax, chill (yes like the hashish the ancient middle eastern asassins used)... but that would be hypocritical wouldn't it? Huh? Throwing stones at those who blah blah blah... Exmuhummadactly!
Why can't the religious extreme just keep to their angry and negative selves? I mean as was seen in that blockbuster movie THE DAVINCI CODE, sometimes a bit of flaggelation does not go astray! I don't care if someone whips themselves, I just wont watch. That same can be said in the above case. Here is a young man embracing his musical talent to voice his opinion (the same as any religious cleric on their respective pulpit) perhaps hoping for fame and money (a vehicle for him to escape the poverty and depression of the middle east) and possibly some live virgins (as opposed to those offered in deathly paradise/heaven-which possibly might not be real!) and what happens?
He gets money, but with a catch! A death threat, a price on his head. For embracing the westernvalue of rap (ummm really? haven't songs and poems been around since cavemen first stubbed their hairy toes or ate fermented fruit?! What did the young rapper think about all this?:

 "I thought there would be some ramifications. But I didn't think I would upset the regime that much. Now they are taking advantage of the situation and making it look like I was trying to criticise religion and put down believers.
"For me it is more of an excuse to talk about completely different things. I also criticise Iranian society in the song. It seems as though people are just concentrating on the word 'imam'."



One small positive is that this young man lives in Germany and here's hoping the border police can spot suspicious looking jihad type suicide bombers/hit men/women/children/bomladen bicycles as they try to make their non-suspicious way to kill said guilty rapper. I wish the young man all the best and look forward to his next album- hopefully entitled something like, 'pimp my camel- 1000 ways with religious piercings'. But we'll see...
Troy Scott