We are what we eat, read, watch and say...

When this happens, worry... This is a great example of all the modern afflictions we suffer!

For a start, this example of text might not even be real! How can we check? Perhaps it is and the person who was being texted has just spent the umpteenth night in a mental institution, worrying about why and how their mother would be abusing them!

To be fair, if I was the mother of this child, I would be more worried about the spelling and meaning of the words this child uses! For those who aren't sure, a 'wat' is a Buddhist temple from Thailand. Not a questioning word! Dumb ass. And what is the mom doing? For gods sake, is she driving while texting? Is she doing some healthy choc-chip baking or wat? Telling your child you are going to LICK them out... jeez... If spelling and meaning begins to fly out the proverbial window, wat will happen long term? For a guess, lets say things will get worse. Txt spk 4 xmpl is something that grates my cheese! Okay, if you are in a rush, then there are times when shortcuts can be made... But if you are on a social networking site like Facebook, for example, the conversations that go on there are simply abominable.
It's a similar thing with fashions. Once shortcuts begin to appear, they become accepted and ingrained. Usually for the worse. Who can forget flared trousers, the cardigan, pearls or geek chic?

Sadly, all these things (and worse) are making a comeback. Threatening us with their hideousness, their shapelessness, their pastel colors and ribbed collars. Yuk!!!!! EVEN worse though are the crossover crim styles that seem to have been made popular via hip-hop music and disaffected urban youth, young and old, rich and poor...   

A new state law in Florida recently went into effect for the 2011-2012 school year banning the practice of sagging while at school. Pupils found in violation will receive a verbal warning for the first offense, followed by parental notification by the principal for the second offense, which will require the parent to bring a change of clothing to school. Students would then face in-school suspension for the third (and later) violations. Several US airlines have also reportedly kicked flyers off of flights for wearing pants too low. In June 2011, The University of New Mexico football player Deshon Marman was removed from a U.S. Airways flight bound for Albuquerque, New Mexico for wearing sagging pants. This was followed a few months later when Green Day singer Billie Joe Armstrong was removed from a Southwest Airlines flight from Oakland to Burbank, California for wearing saggy pants...

Crikey! What happens when BOTH are mixed together though?! A sad mix of gormlessness and stupidity. Wat u men? As the trousers are being pulled up... usually in the line of McD's or any other crappy fat inducing, health threatening eatery or establishment. We have to ask why? Why does stupidity, health and fashion often attract such epic failures in the human gene pool? Is it a statement? Is it a fight against the system, the man? No... it's only one thing, stupidity, idiocracy and complete mongrelitis (that genetic affliction of mullets, undercuts, bad grooming and awesomely deadly diet!).
There is a movie called "idiocracy"... I would suggest, to everyone reading, go rent a copy. Watch and make notes... If your neighbor or best friend begins to water their garden, while wearing lowriding jeans, with gatorade, run for cover!  
 

Pimples on the ass of the World!

The World... It's what we live on, a huge ball made up of molten hot lava and magma, a massively thick crust (which moves in mysterious ways!!!) and layers of water, oil, gold, marshmallow and dirt. Okay, so there's no layer of gold. The thing is, we live on this incredible living thing, yet we treat it no better than a diseased dog or a sale price prostitute at 5 in the morning. We suck. Humanity has evolved to a point where it is dubious that those in power really care. Those same people are utilizing belief patterns and modes of thought that have become ingrained in us since as far back as Locke and Hobbs first appeared on the scene. We are in a struggle to find that balance of good and worse, bad and really bad. What the people want is a life that is free, what we are being told is that we are all savages in serious need of some professional care! And the governments worldwide will do this for us!
Take Plato's cave as an example of what is happening in the world. We, the unwitting public, are fed pictures and images via television, film, the internet, mobile devices and they may not be real. What we believe as a reality may in fact be nothing more than a show, orchestrated by puppet masters who tell doyens in any given field, what to show us. We may not even know who these mysterious and shadowy puppet masters are... Or if they exist at all.

Observe, Glaucon, that there will be no injustice in compelling our philosophers to have a care and providence of others; we shall explain to them that in other States, men of their class are not obliged to share in the toils of politics: and this is reasonable, for they grow up at their own sweet will, and the government would rather not have them. Being self-taught, they cannot be expected to show any gratitude for a culture which they have never received. But we have brought you into the world to be rulers of the hive, kings of yourselves and of the other citizens, and have educated you far better and more perfectly than they have been educated, and you are better able to share in the double duty. Wherefore each of you, when his turn comes, must go down to the general underground abode, and get the habit of seeing in the dark. When you have acquired the habit, you will see ten thousand times better than the inhabitants of the cave, and you will know what the several images are, and what they represent, because you have seen the beautiful and just and good in their truth. And thus our State which is also yours will be a reality, and not a dream only, and will be administered in a spirit unlike that of other States, in which men fight with one another about shadows only and are distracted in the struggle for power, which in their eyes is a great good. Whereas the truth is that the State in which the rulers are most reluctant to govern is always the best and most quietly governed, and the State in which they are most eager, the worst.  

OR... are we being double duped? Kings of yourselves? Huh???? In our world there are only a few kings. Is this wrong??? Why can't we all be kings? Well the truth is, we can. Because being a King or a Queen is something that is purely imagined. WE ALL CAN RULE.  We are perhaps discovering this paradox. That we can rule, that Kingdoms are imagined (see all the uprisings in the middle east for example) and that perhaps, just perhaps, we have parted the wool that for so long has been pulled over our eyes. That those in charge have only one thing, okay it is a biggie, military might. We all know that military intelligence is an oxymoron. That many in the armed forces are in fact morons!

 Which is very, very scary! For us that is... For the masters of this unknown world we live in, thinking about changing power, be it political, economic, social or even petrol, gives them the shivers.
That's because they think we cannot rule ourselves...
That's because they think they know better...
That's because they don't want everyone to be free, literate...
That's because they want to keep their money...
That's because they want to keep their power...
That's because they want us to stay dumb...
That's because the minerals in the grounds of the countries we live in should be used to feed and clothe us... not make them rich...

Kings. When America and Americans and British and monarchs worldwide realize that we know that they are nothing really more than a vivid imagination... well one thing is for sure, all those in power, all those who believe we cannot rule our lives, all those who think they can tell us one thing while doing another... yep that one thing is that they will still believe that we, the people who help keep them in power, are nothing more than pimples on the backside of the world!

Why coming home and blogging is fun..

After Four and a half months in tropical Fiji, I am home.

I live in the South Island of New Zealand and this time of the year it is freezing cold! Ah the joys of travel and study. I had been wearing shorts, sandals (we call them jandals here in NZ) and tee shirts and now I've graduated to fleecy hoodies, trousers, socks and shoes (yuk!) and some nice new ugg boots. Oh, not to forget a wollen hat or beanie, although I think they are called 'touque' in Canada.  Leaving Fiji was sad. I made many friends and it was especially hard to tear myself away from the tropical sea I love so much. Having a surf in 25 degree water is pretty special... The sea water temperature here is about 9 degrees at the moment. That's actually not too bad, it's the minus two air temp in the morning that really tightens my nuts! On the west coast of the South Island, this wind is called 'the barber' because in the winter it cuts right through you! BRRRRRRRRR. I was especially happy to see my girlfriend Eve, she had been doing it tough while I was away. Enjoying bags of chocolates and lots of wine. I'm sure she was pleased to see me though:) My faithful hound Fin gave me a rather underwhelming welcome back...

The look of love, or simply begging for a sultana... hairy bastard.

Although he did give me many licks, showed me his latest stick and presented both his mighty balls and a watery shart for me to inspect. Lovely boy. Our other dog, Nui, was much more appreciative of my absence. Gently snuffling my ear and making noises that I'm sure were the closest she could get to 'Oh my god welcome home, I'm sooo glad to see you, rub my tummy, rub my back, pat me on my head... more ooo more... oh yes oh yes that's the spot right there!'

The benefits of travel ay! Oh, and although I put as the caption for the photo there, something about sultana's, before I get lynched by the SPCA or Doglovers anonymous, I KNOW that sultanas are bad for dogs. It was just a clever trick by me to get him to pose for the camera, so calm the hell down thank you. I also found this wonderful quote ,regaling anyone who cares, about the joys of travel...

“Traveling is a brutality. It forces you to trust strangers and to lose sight of all that familiar comfort of home and friends. You are constantly off balance. Nothing is yours except the essential things – air, sleep, dreams, the sea, the sky – all things tending towards the eternal or what we imagine of it.” – Cesare Pavese

Because to come home, first you must go away. That is what I have done. The heat pump blows warm air into the lounge, protecting from the chill of the cold wintery south west wind as it slices through the clothing of anyone silly enough to under-dress. It merely make the memories of the past four and a half months all the more precious. When you are in a foreign land you miss your home, when you meet strangers they become new friends, when you get home you remember where you have been.

 So I'd like to say a huge thank you to all who I have met during my travels and studies while in Fiji, I want to say thank you to Eve for holding the fort while I was away and for all the dramas she had to endure while on her own. I wish all the best to everyone studying for the future, whatever it may hold, and best of all... I look forward to future travels and future homecomings and of course... Rum! HAhaaaaaa...

That stuff between our toes... and politicians.

I wondered what to write about today... I procrastinated, I deliberated and I obsfucated. When I realized what I was doing a light flashed in my grey matter BLAM! Politics. Yes, that subject we all love to hate. Politics. A live soap opera. Same old players every day for years and years and years. Oh my god I'm nearly falling asleep this is soooooo droll! But that's what politics does it puts you to sleep. Kind of like a weak dose of euthanasia at the SPCA, just takes a while, but just when you realise what has been happening KAPOW!!! Sex scandal, money misappropriated, dodgy behind closed doors deals, a new leader, a new star. There is one politician who embodies all that is badass, all that is sexy, all that is I'm going to rule you mofo's and there aint nuthing you can do 'bout it! Vlad is the man. Look at this guy! I mean why can't there be more politicians like him? He has pecs for chrissake. Who even has pecs these days? Not since Chuck Norris had his pec hair ripped off by Bruce Lee has humanity seen such a speciman! In New Zealand, our esteemed leader (who I must add I did not vote for) is an ex-investment banker with a penchant for grey suits, slippery talk and Hawaiian mansions. Australia does not fare much better, their PM is so plastic and coffiured it could be a Bratz doll! OOOO look! There's Ms Gillard when she had long hair and shes holding a Bratz! What an amazing coincedence. Perhaps there is some slim chance for Australian politics after all!

But. No matter what our esteemed leaders look like, no matter what kind of animal magnetisim, sex panther appeal these horribly slimy people exude, the telling thing anyone in charge of anything will eventually let slip is some words. Yep, words are a politicians saviour and also their worst nightmare. Lets look at some of the best of the worst:

"Should the Iranian regime-do they have the sovereign right to have civilian nuclear power? So, like, if I were you, that's what I'd ask me. And the answer is, yes, they do." George Bush talking to reporters, 2008.
Crikey. Does that even make sense? But hell, he (and his dad) was only in charge of the more powerful nation in the world! What sort of flow on effect might this have had I wonder...

A second, more damning aspect of Bush's mind-set is that he doesn't want to know anything in detail, however important. Since college, he has spilled with contempt for knowledge, equating learning with snobbery and making a joke of his own anti-intellectualism. ("[William F. Buckley] wrote a book at Yale; I read one," he quipped at a black-tie event.) By O'Neill's account, Bush could sit through an hourlong presentation about the state of the economy without asking a single question. ("I was bored as hell," the president shot back, ostensibly in jest.)

Awesome! Here is someone who is dumb, does not want to learn and seems to have a thing against people who are the slightest bit smart... AND HE WAS THE RULER OF THE USA!

But it gets better for the ladn of the feer and the hoem of the braev! Here is a great bit of mis-spelling...

              Republican Mitt Romney says he is running for president in search

              of a better America. This week, Romney's campaign could have

              used a better speller. The campaign released an iPhone app

              late Tuesday (Wednesday, NZ time) that features slogans

              supporting his campaign against Democratic President Barack

              Obama ahead of elections on November 6.

              "We're With Mitt," read one. "American Greatness," declared another.

              "A Better Amercia ," proclaimed a third, a misspelling that almost

              instantly became the subject of jokes on social media.

What the hell? Well at least he wasn't fat!

 Take a look at these guys->
Lets be brutally honest, we live in a world where excessive comsumption is lauded as a sign of wealth, of a sign of success. How many politicians are fat! Combine this with a healthy dose of stupidity and there is a massive, fetid, sweaty, disgusting, stupid problem.

How can these people be taken seriously? Really? So the next time you see a politician, run your calculating eyes up and down them, are they overweight? Clammy? Well dressed? Do they, when they open their mouths to speak, look like an eel about to eat an egg yolk? If you can tick any or all of the above be very afraid. Because like that sticky, sweet mouldy smelling stuff between your toes, once a politician gets into the cracks and crevices of Parliament, they are damn near impossible to remove.

The power of electronic conversation, good or bad?

First it was e-mail, then it was mobile phones and texting and now it is Facebook and other social media. The trend to converse electronically is now more than ever, a huge part of peoples lives. When I first got an e-mail address, it was only because I was with a couple of friends who were signing up. So it was purely a convienence thing really. At that time (1989) I would have known three or four people with an e-mail address. There was no real pressure there, if you didn't check your e-mail for weeks there would be no repercussions. Not now though! Oh boy how things have changed. For the generation(s) who have been bought up with electronic messaging, it seems to be some sort of sin if for example you don't accept a friend request or play the same game of bloody bejewled thingymawhatist!

I have just read a blog titled 'no pressure blogging' and somewhat alarmingly this is what the author had to say:

But that being said…it’s really nice to not feel pressure to blog. Because quite frankly, my blog suffers when I do. Churning out posts just to have something posted every day doesn’t necessarily add to the value of a blog. Sometimes silence is golden. And quite frankly – sometimes I don’t even notice when some of my favorite bloggers take a day or two off.

Really! Well I don't feel guilty about not blogging every day... After all it's my life as Jon Bon used to say! Sadly it's not NOW OR NEVER, it's NOW NOW NOW NOW...  and if you aren't NOW you are yesterday! Stink. There is a new phenomena now with the rise of social media use, and that is electronic pressure. That's right. Even if you work, live or know people, see them every day, talk (yes a real conversation), laugh and or cry with these REAL people, you are also expected to be cyber friends. To allow all and sundry to see your private photo's, to read your comments (even if about the above people!) to somehow be a part of the greater cyber world. And for some unknown reason, the younger generations who live day to day through their computers seem the most put out if their 'friend requests' are not accepted! This is one thing. This HEY WHY DIDN"T YOU ACCEPT MY FRIEND REQUEST? sniffle... It's kind of like an extension of the screaming child who can't get the lollipop! WHYYYYYY WHAAAAAAA cry cry... What do you do? Buckle? Slap? Ignore? I just find it a bit annoying. I find it a bit of a joke, I find it a bit tiring... When someone corners you with the 'Why didn't you... friend request' blackmail. Because that's what it really is, emotional blackmail dressed in computer code. It's the same as the little screaming kid desperately trying to get the parent/ caregiver to buy them the treat. It's a quick fix. Instant gratification. And if it's not given? What happens? Well what happens in the computer world? NOTHING. It's not real! This is the end example of spending more and more time in some sort of cyber reality... A mixing of what is real and what is not, via the real (the spoken or written friend request) and what is not (the whole e-friend thing, facebook and online stuff). It is not real but it is new it is neo:

neo- pref. 1. New; recent: Neolithic. 2. a. New and different: neoimpressionism. b. New and abnormal: neoplasm. 3. New World: Neotropical.

NEW... That does not make it right though. The delivery is the new part, what lies behind the cyber pressure people unwittingly use everyday is not. It is as old as humanity, it is pure and simple part of our make up whether we like it or not. Understanding these interactions might make it easier to accept those friend request... Or for some, it might not. Try it, see what happens... Just ask WHY?

Polls discover which is better: scrunching or folding!

Yes that's right. The big news is as usual, a very important topic. One we all have a view on, but one which we particularly don't want to view. Scrunching versus folding. Yes one of the most ponderous yet satisfying habits of humankind has revealed that, in the UK at least, more people prefer scrunching to folding, according to the research, 68% fold their toilet paper before wiping and only 15% of us scrunch it. Holy one-ply!

There were other startling examples of toilet loves and abuses in the study this author found, for example:  Men like to have something to read on the loo, 59% compared to just 43% of women.
REALLY?! Does there really have to be a survey about that? Any magazine or newspaper reading male could tell you that a nice piece of highbrow literature in the loo is great for the constitution!

 In the ideal world there would be a variety of reading material available, men and women's magazines of all descriptions from many different sources... A joyous and steamy convergence of habits and preferences.

Which just goes to show that you can please most people all of the time as long as your one, two, or if you can afford it, GASP-three ply doesn't rip! The media is similar in this vein. Whether your bag is radio, print, television or online media, it's fair to say that there are many tastes and requirements. Henry Jenkins has this to say about convergence, although it could also be used for toilet tissue too:

 "We are living in an age when changes in communications, storytelling and information technologies are reshaping almost every aspect of contemporary life -- including how we create, consume, learn, and interact with each other. A whole range of new technologies enable consumers to archive, annotate, appropriate, and recirculate media content and in the process, these technologies have altered the ways that consumers interact with core institutions of government, education, and commerce."

Changes. This is an important word, things are changing, constantly. There is now something called electronic paper , an extremely flexible electronic screen that is light, easy to read, cheap and importantly for the producers, cheap to make. But is this amazing breakthrough really a good thing? Look at the picture above and ask yourself 'would this room be just as comfortable without all that reading material'? The answer would be a resounding no! One small tube apparently, is what the future of reading may be, something that would be kept in your pocket (to slowly cook genitalia is a serious question to be raised!), and would be connected to digital technology, giving the owner an instant dose of news, views and information:

This document reader will be used for e-mail, the Internet, books downloaded from a global digital library that is currently under construction, technical manuals, newspapers (perhaps in larger format), magazines, and so forth, anywhere on the planet. It will cost less than $100, and nearly everyone will have one!

Hmmm... call me skeptical, call me a folder, but don't call me these guys just yet because I don't know if I really want one. For a start. This sort of tech comes with a number of prices aside from the dollar value. There is the labor issue. There would be no doubt that until robots can replace low cost labour, people in developing countries will still be utilized, thus keeping them in their cycle of poverty. E-paper... no good for some but amazing, a revolution for others, is this right? Try telling the scrunchers they are wrong. Oh just to show the absurdidty of toilet paper and tech, 'and nearly everyone will have one' or ' the re-launch of the Shades toilet paper across all UK stores which is calling it's "best ever toilet roll'. What's the problem here? Sure nearly everyone might have one (a paper thin e-reader), but millions won't. Of the worlds 7 billion population, probably two thirds might be able to afford it. The rest will have to make it. As for the 'best' toilet paper... well the stores involved have just been found out. In order to make the 'best' paper, to scrunch or fold, they have reduced the width. You actually get less for your money! The whole point of the blog? What is 'best' or 'revoloutionary' might not actualy be, convergence of the media is the same, jump on the bandwagon, integrate then suffer the profit and skill loss... Ah what price happiness?

Pic: Applianceonline.

Conspiracy, illuminati and technorati.

THERE IS A VAST INTRIGUING WEB OF TRUTHS, LIES AND BLOGGING!
AND WE'RE ALL A PART OF IT IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW... SORRY...

We have been looking at the interconnectedness of the internet, blogs and citizen journalists.


image:sublimagens.

What pops into my head then? The illuminati! But fear not blogsphere friends... try spelling 'tasty cheese' backwards! Does it work? No. What am I getting at? Well we are all interconnected, we are all of differing views. Some are good, some are bad, some are downright mad... but: these views are the social glue that binds us. Without them we are nothing, not rulers and as you can see in the picture, not distant cousins third removed!

Like conspiracy theories, views are all a part of the make-up of modern social life. Millions of people belive in these theories. Many have spent their whole life trying desperately to justify their cause. Some have spent life's savings trying to convince the public aliens are real, others just have problems with aliens raping their electric broom!

"I thought I'd seen the last of him until somebody ransacked my house while I was at work on march 5," said the bewildered gardener. The next morning I heard gasping and grunting noises coming from my closet and when I opened the door I found the alien on top of my electric broom. He beat me up badly the last time we had a run-in so I didn't interfere. I ran out of the house and called the police on a neighbor's phone.But by the time they arrived the alien was gone and my electric broom was twisted like a corkscrew. I know it was the same space alien, he added, you never forget a face like that."

Again just to reconfirm my point that all these views are interconnected, if I had never come to Fiji and enrolled in JN201, I would not be blogging about aliens raping eletric brooms! BUT, I am and here we are. The blogsphere and it's environs is a digitally rich and fertile garden, we are the gardeners, some have green thumbs, some use too much manure... That is the problem with this fastly overgrowing digital compost heap. Luckily there are sites that can help with the morass of information available. Technorati is one such site, go to their home page, type in anything you like in their search space and see what comes up. Go on I dare you. You might not agree what is being written by the hordes of opinionated bloggers out there, but they damn well can blog about whatever they want, wherever they are. That is the joy of the blog. Because for some, a blog can seem like a chore (c'mon 201'ers :) but for others, a blog is a way of being heard, of being justified, a reason to be arrested-because for some, they understand that being a part of the blogsphere means being connected to the world. Ask any Chinese blogger if they feel oppressed or in danger for posting their blogs about the society they live in. But they can. And that's the point. No matter how ludicrous, extreme (try interviewing Buzz Aldrin and telling him the moon landing was faked!) or otherwise, blogs and the views that are contained among those sentences are now relevant. Have a read, open your mind, you might just find out where Elvis really is or perhaps whether those pesky scientologist's alien ghosts really do reside under that Hawaiian volcano...

But till net time, I'm off to find a mirror to see if what I have just written is readable in reverse and I'm going to double check some random dollar bills for signs of an impending new world order!